Monday, November 22, 2010

Making Friends. Hard at any age.

Recently my daughter told me that she is weird. I asked her why she thought that. She said, "because I am. I'm the weird girl in the class." I said, "is Grandma Sharon weird?"
Audrey, "Yes."
Me, "Would you rather Grandma wasn't weird?"
Audrey, "NO! I like Grandma Sharon weird. She's fun!"
Me, "Ok, then. See. I bet your friends at school think you're really fun and like that you're weird."

That same day my son said that he didn't have any friends at school. I told him that he was a smart, interesting, fun, handsome boy that would find the right friend very soon.

You see, my kids have started their third school in three years. It was easier three years ago when they were younger. They were at a French immersion school. The following year they were at an American public school with mostly Chinese children. Audrey was able to make plenty of friends but Aidan found it hard. He still hung out with his friend sfrom the French school so I don't think he noticed that he didn't have friends at school. Now we're on the other side of the country. School is totally different at their new school. Where they were memorizing now they're working more on concepts. We're also in a community where kids walk to school together. Very different from their last two schools where the children were from all over.

I find myself telling my husband that it's hard to make friends at my age. I moped around one day depressed and homesick. At the same time I was telling my kids to not worry they'll be ok I was bummed that I didn't have a friend or a place where I felt I fit. Back home I had my running partner, my mom friends, my work friends, my running friends. We all had our place. We all fit. Life seemed so easy! now here I am far away from family, friends, everything that I know and love. The kids and I love our house, our yard, our neighbors... we're figuring things out and it feels good to start over. I think it's when the loneliness sets in that it hits us (the kids and I). We realize how much we miss our friends and family.

I had been telling my kids that they'd make friends soon and everything would be ok. I realized that I needed to take my own advice. So, I sent out a few emails and text messages asking for playdates, coffee dates, and luncheons. Most people are quite busy right now due to the holidays. I was able to set up a few events for the following week.

It's funny how life is. How a six year old and a 34 year old can have the same problems. It's hard making friends no matter how old you are. But, in the end we're all people and we all want to belong. I keep telling myself to smile and be friendly. I'll find someone. It just takes time. I tell myself what I tell my children. I believe that it'll all workout for them. So it must be true for me too.

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I am an identical twin. I am married with three children currently residing in PA. From California. Attended three high schools in three states and seven colleges in three states in seven years. I have a degree in photography and journalism